Mastering Self Care

When I think of self care, I think of self love and self acceptance.  While I feel that realizing your full potential, balancing your “Wheel of Life,”and  setting and rewarding yourself for reaching goals are important aspects of self care, I find that listening to your inner spirit (Human Guidance System), allowing space for transformation and loving yourself where you are today are the ultimate forms of self care.

Where does self love and self acceptance come from? How can it be measured? How can we define it?

Self love and self acceptance is part of your individual self-worth.

Self-worth starts forming the moment you’re born. You were born with the idea of being 100 percent deserving, with infinite possibilities and potential.  As a toddler, you did anything you wanted and tried anything at least once—you were not afraid of failing. You didn’t like to be told “no.” You believed you were invincible and you did your best to convince everyone around you of that as well.

By adolescence, your deepest beliefs about yourself had been confirmed. If you had parents and caregivers who taught you that you were deserving of all the possibilities and abundance in the Universe, then your self-worth is probably high. If your parents suffered from low self-worth themselves, you were probably taught that the Universe was not yours for the taking and that you did not deserve all the good life has to offer— that you were a victim of circumstance rather than the creator of your own destiny.

Society, peer groups, circumstances, life’s events and decisions confirm these thoughts and feelings. Your subconscious mind absorbs these thoughts and feelings. And your subconscious mind brings your self-worth to life every minute of every day, whether you realize it or not.

Looking at your self-worth isn’t always easy. But take heart, even the most confident, successful people have moments of low self-worth and self-judgment. It comes with being human.

Part of the eMerge personal development program examines self-worth. By completing exercises assessing your self- worth, you can determine how you feel about yourself and allow for personal improvement and transformation.

Here are six tips from the eMerge program for improving self-love and self-care:

Love yourself anyway. If you feel you are not good enough, love yourself anyway.  If you feel that you are undeserving, love yourself anyway. If you feel that you did something wrong and unforgivable, love yourself anyway. If you feel you may fail, love yourself anyway. If you feel afraid to take the next step, love yourself anyway.

Loving yourself means that you treat yourself with respect. Take care of your spirit, mind, and body. Do things that make you feel special and that help you move forward in life.

Accept who and where you are now. Enjoy the view. Treasure yourself. Enjoy the people, places, and situations of today. Show gratitude for the life you have. If you are not happy with the situation, change your thoughts, words, feelings, actions, or beliefs.

Forgive yourself and apologize when necessary. Each of us would like a “do over.” We all have regrets. We all make mistakes. We all have learned lessons the hard way. Now is the time to observe the size and importance of what is behind you. The Rearview Mirror is small and reflective for a reason. Look back to see where you have been. Reflect on what you would have done differently—learn the lesson. Let go of negativity—get the junk out of the Trunk. Put the past in perspective, focus on the future, and move forward.

Be kind and patient. Give yourself the gift of time to grow, develop, change and eMerge.

Do your best each and every day. You start each day with an expectation of what you want to accomplish. When you meet or exceed your goal, you feel good about yourself. When you don’t reach your goal, you may berate or criticize yourself. Realize that your best will be different every day based on your health, priorities, finances and level of energy. Always do your best in each situation and you will increase your self-worth.

Start to take small risks. If you have a specific fear that stands in the way of your goals, take small steps toward moving through it. Fears can be overcome. Fear is nothing more than: “False Evidence that Appears Real.”

Improving your self-worth through self love and self care takes time and patience.  Give yourself these gifts. When you love yourself, your world opens and miracles will appear in your path.


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Journey to Inner Peace

Inner peace is the most priceless thing that we can possess. You can’t buy inner peace, nobody can give us inner peace and at the same time it is only our own thoughts or actions that can rob us of our inner peace. Inner peace is a choice.  It is a journey that we can choose to take, a state of mind we can choose to maintain and a belief system we can choose to adopt.  In order to experience inner peace we don’t have to retreat to a certain place; we can experience inner peace right now, exactly where we are.  To experience continued inner peace, we just have to value the importance of inner peace. If we really value inner peace, we will work hard to make it our reality.

These are my top 5 suggestions for creating inner peace:

1. Control Your Thoughts.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer

Our thoughts determine our state of mind on a moment to moment basis. When we change our mind, we change our life.  If we constantly dwell on negative or destructive thoughts, inner peace will always be out of our reach. We need to be observant and pay attention to our thoughts.  When a negative thought comes up, avoid dwelling on it and think a new, more positive thought. Remember to give yourself a break, this takes time and practice.  We are not meant to “get there” in a day, a week or a month.  Inner peace is a continuous journey and a state of mind.

2. Pay attention to what or who you listen to.

What or who do you listen to?  Are they positive or negative?  Many of us are addicted to certain news programs, reality TV shows or listen to people gossip feverishly.  The problem is the mind feels insecure unless it has something to occupy it. Our minds pick up messages from our environment and will be agitated by the continual negativity we see in the world.  We can try to detach from this negativity, but sometimes it is just easier to turn it off or walk away. If you have a spare 15 minutes, use the opportunity to be in a state of appreciation, meditate, go for a walk in nature or do something that makes you feel fulfilled and positive.

3. Accept what is going on and where you are at the moment.

Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.  Most of the time, what we worry about is relating to something either in the past or in the future.  Once you start to accept what is going on and where you are at the moment, you automatically relieve yourself from unnecessary stress and anxiety and feel like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. Many of us focus and dwell on things which we have no control over, creating a whole story around it. What we can’t change or what we can’t influence should not be a concern to us.  Make a habit of accepting where you are at the moment, visualize what you want for the future and have faith that everything works out for the better in the long run.

4.  Share your time and resources with others.
Inner peace can be achieved by donating your time, your talents and your energy with others.  Sharing is an act of selfishness. You will never find peace by being self-consumed and only worrying about your own needs and wants. Donate some of your time and energy and watch how it changes everyone in your surroundings.

5. Listen to your Inner guidance system and never stop learning.
One thing that is responsible for so much stress in our life is the fact that we worry about not having all the answers and not knowing where we are going. Accepting that we do not need to know everything “right now”, that we are in a constant state of learning and that we each come equipped with an amazing inner compass is an important part of achieving inner peace. When we recognize that life is a journey of never-ending learning, we will find ourselves closer to experiencing the inner peace we’re searching for.


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