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Authentically Be-YOU-tiful

be beyoutiful“Being authentic is the ability to be true to oneself. Living an authentic life requires the ability to be true to our own wants, needs and desires and not live our lives by the opinion of others. Being authentic is the ability to make self-honoring choices and stand firmly in who we are in our core. Being true to ourselves gives us the insight and compassion to see others, for who they are, not who we expect them to be. It frees us up from the judgment of ourselves and others and it gives others the freedom to be themselves as well.”– Victoria J. Reynolds

Are you living your life full out?  “Living Full Out” is living on the outside who you truly are on the inside.  It is living your authentic self.  What is your authentic self?  Your authentic self is who you are at the very core.  It is who you were created to become.  Your authentic self holds the gifts, talents and the wisdom you came here with-it is what makes you unique and special.  Contrast that to your false self.  Your false self can be defined as who society told you to be or who your friends and family want you to be.  Some examples of your false self can be the roles that you play: your occupation, your social status, how you make a living or the roles you play in life.

 When you are not living from your authentic self, you feel incomplete, unfulfilled or lack passion for life. It may feel as if you have an emptiness or yearning in your soul. You may feel depressed, tired, and sluggish or keep hitting roadblocks.  Living from your false self-drains your life force energy and takes away the energy stores you need to live your authentic self.  How do you know when you are living from your false self? You may refer to yourself as a “people pleaser” or take the advice of others over your own. Additionally, you may be living a life that ignores your true talents and gifts, giving into the demands of your current occupation, your friends/family and roles you play. Living from your false self is living from your “shoulds”.  You may have been deferring your life to others for so long that you don’t know what it is that you want to be, do or have. How do you know you are ready? If you feel sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, if you feel that you have lost your passion for life or if you feel that your soul is trying to get your attention-then it may be your authentic self-yearning to emerge.
Honoring your authentic self can be empowering and rewarding.  Even just adding some of your authentic talents may take your life in a new direction. You can start slow and choose to go at your own pace and watch your life unfold naturally.  When you start to live as your authentic self, doors will open, opportunities will arise and synchronicities will appear out of nowhere.

Beginning to live as your authentic self requires you to have a dialog with yourself- start with the following questions to help you uncover your authentic self:

Grab a pen and paper and sit quietly.  Answer these questions more from heart and less from your head.

1.    What were your dreams as a child?

2.    What are your special talents?

3.    What are you passionate about (what would make you get out of bed every day with excitement and energy)?

4.    What can you do better than most people?

5.    What will you regret in your life it you continue life as it is now?

6.    What is the legacy you would like to leave behind?

7.    Who most inspires you?  What about them inspires you the most?

After you answer the questions take some time to reflect upon them.  What did you learn from this exercise? Do you find yourself daydreaming of making a change in your life? The next step is to turn this inspiration into action.  Ask yourself how you can start to incorporate this information into your life and start living your life FULL OUT.

Start today.  Get inspired. Be brave. Be-YOU-tiful.

 

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Transforming Roadblocks

“Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions“—Anthony Robbins

Roadblocks, in their purest form, are obstacles.  They’re designed to stop you, or at least slow you down.  They’re frustrating, maddening and annoying.  They are also the biggest, most divine-sent blessings you may ever receive.  Roadblocks may come in a variety of forms: physical (an illness, disease or physical limitation); mental (a creative block or emotional issue that you must work through first); or spiritual (you feel a nudge from your inner guidance and need to take the time to get silent and listen to the wisdom provided).

As complex as a strand of DNA, Roadblocks involve your entire being-Mind, Body and Spirit.  Your conscious and subconscious minds play a big role, as does your spirituality, physical health and emotional state of mind.  The wonderful, saving grace of a Roadblock is that they’re yours.  The Universe specifically designed them for you and your journey.  If you ignore them, they will get bigger and uglier, and you’ll get stuck.  Claim them and work through them, and they become speed bumps-a slight dip in the road that you’re easily able to drive over.  Overcome them and you’ll grow in ways you’ve never imagined.

The good news about Roadblocks is that they don’t last forever.  They are designed to disappear once you’ve learned the lesson or overcome the challenge presented.  It takes patience and practice, but if you don’t learn the lesson, you’ll continue to hit the same Roadblock over and over again, preventing you from living the life of your dreams.

Here is a list of some common Roadblocks. (You can have your own personal Roadblocks, but you can use this list as a guide.)

FEARS: I might get hurt. I might fail. What would others think?

LIMITING BELIEFS: I’m too stupid. I’m not thin enough.  I can’t do that. I don’t have the education.

REARVIEW MIRROR: I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work. Been there, done that. I’ve done that before and I got hurt.

EMERGENCY BRAKE: Overeating. Over cleaning. Changing the subject. Leaving the room.

EXCUSES: I don’t have the time. I don’t have the money. It’s too late. I’m too old.  It’s too soon.

SELF-DOUBTS: I can’t do this.  I am not good enough. I am not good at _____.  I’m not smart enough.

DON’T WANTS: I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t like to be confrontational.

There are three effective ways to knock down Roadblocks: Evaluating the situation, Visualization and Working with the conscious and subconscious minds.  Below you will find some self-reflection questions to help you with the first one: Evaluating the situation.

First: Identify your Roadblock.  Draw it out if you have to. Take out a pen and paper and answer the following questions.  Does this involve my body, mind, spirit or all three? What do I want the outcome to be? If I were guaranteed not to fail, what would I be doing differently? If overcoming this Roadblock was my first priority, what would I do differently? What CAN I do to help myself feel better about this? Is there a pattern to this Roadblock? If so, what is the underlying message here? Am I focusing too much energy on my past? Do I need to forgive someone or myself? If I choose to overcome this Roadblock, what needs to change in my life?  What three things am I willing to change in order to move past this?

I wish you continued success on your journey!

 

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When you Change Your Mind, You Change Your Life

Have you ever really wanted something and didn’t seem to get it? Have you tried time and again to reach a goal, only to sabotage yourself at the very end?  Do you set out on a path only to experience the complete opposite of what you intended?  This is the power of your belief systems.

Belief systems drive our life.  Yes, it is great when we set out to reach a goal and we have the excitement, anticipation and knowing that we can accomplish it and it unfolds beautifully, but what happens when the complete opposite occurs?  Why does it seem the more we want something, the harder it is to get?  The answer lies within our subconscious mind, the seat of our belief systems.

Our minds are powerful instruments that create our reality.  Our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions bring about what we accomplish in life.  If we believe that we are talented musicians, we will play beautiful music.  If we believe that we are not good enough, we may fail at any lasting attempt in a job or relationship.  When it comes to reaching our intended desires, we have to look for any and all limiting belief systems and change our minds about them if we are to succeed.

If you are interested in the science behind the conscious and subconscious mind as it relates to reaching your goals, you can visit my website www.askdrkel.com for the details of how this all works, but the focus of our column is the power of your beliefs, which are stored directly in your subconscious mind.

Our belief system is what we believe about ourselves and our world.  Beliefs are formed from the moment of our birth and continue to be formed each step of our life.  Belief systems stem from our upbringing, childhood, parents, peers and society. Belief systems are not rational and can’t always be supported by fact or evidence.  They are true because we believe they are true or someone else in our life believed it was true. Beliefs are ingrained deeply in our subconscious minds.  Eight five percent of our success in life is controlled by our subconscious mind.  Our beliefs are thoughts we keep thinking. When we find that we are less than successful in any area, it is wise to take a look at what thoughts and beliefs we have about this and make some positive changes in those areas.  To reach our goals, go confidently after the limiting beliefs to uncover the treasures they hold.

Use the questions below to explore any limiting beliefs you have regarding these specific areas: Your Self, Body, Diet, Exercise, Career, Home, Family, Relationships, Community, Religion/Spirituality.

Ask yourself the following:

What is my belief system in this area?

Is this true for me?

Where did this belief come from?

Is this belief moving me forward or holding me back?

Would I like to change this belief system?

If yes, how can I change this to make it more true for me?

Goal specific:

What is your goal?

What is your belief system about it?

How does it make you feel? (excited, fearful, anxious, anticipation).

Is your belief system in alignment with your goal?

If not, what will you have to change to make this goal happen?

Remember, you have the power and the right to change your belief system and time you wish to.  If you wish to change a belief system, you have to reprogram your subconscious mind.  To do this, you can start with positive thoughts and affirmations.  Repeat these throughout the day, especially in the morning and evenings.  To water these new seeds, continue to say them daily and they will grow.  Continue to water them with positive affirmations and they will flourish. Remember, beliefs are thoughts you keep thinking.  Change your dominant thoughts and they will eventually change your feelings.  When you change your feelings, you will change your beliefs and when you change your beliefs, you will change your life.

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Spiritual Parenting

maddie2Raising a spiritual child is something that is shared with the entire family.  Spiritual parenting does not have to follow a particular “religion” but will teach a child to connect with themselves and others, shaping the world around them. Providing a foundation of spirituality from a young age will help develop their morals, values, behavior and increase their self-esteem.  Spiritual living gives your child a sense of belonging and provides them with tools in order to help them navigate the road of life with confidence, connection and gratitude.  Below you will find six tips to help you navigate the road to spiritual parenting:

P Praise. Show your child how important they are in your life.  Praise them for the good deeds that they have done.  Praise them for the responsibility they take in cleaning their room, helping with the dishes or getting their homework done on time.  Praising them and thanking them teaches them to pay that praise forward in their relationships.

A Appreciate.  Appreciate their uniqueness, talents and special gifts.  Allow your child to explore his/her interests and teach them to appreciate their uniqueness.  Read them stories of people who have followed their own path to success.  Talk with them about their special gifts and ask them how they want to contribute to the community and the world around them.

R Respect.  Respect their time, their boundaries and teach them to be responsible for their actions.  Have a house rule of respect.  Each person in the house will honor and respect each other and set boundaries.  As kids grow to be more independent, encourage them and give them the freedom to explore, learn, test and grow.  This is a natural part of life and will happen whether you allow them the freedom of independence or not.  Giving them a permission slip to grow, make mistakes, learn and get back on their feet will provide them with tools on the road of life.  Teach them to take responsibility for their actions, behaviors and words and balance that with respect, love, permission and consistency.

E Express love.  It is one thing to love your children and it is another thing to express that love.  Set an example for your children and express love as often as possible in your home, in action and in words.  Tell your children you love them and show affection and appreciation towards them.  Show your children that love can be expressed in many ways; by helping around the house, listening with an open ear, giving thanks and praise, laughing together and even spending time planting a garden.

N Nurture them and teach them how to make themselves happy.  Nurture your child with your presence, not your “presents”.  Children need to be nurtured, cared for, appreciated and loved.  When a child feels nurtured at home, they are more confident to try new things, conquer their fears/doubts and grow in various directions because they know they have a safe place and a support system to fall back on.  Your child will discover what makes him/her happy and content and will become more independent knowing that they are nurtured at home.  Teaching a child to realize that they can make themselves happy independent of the circumstances around them is a valuable gift you can give them.

T Time and Teaching.  Spending one on one time with your child, openly listening to them and teaching them their connection with spirit and community is the last tip on my list.  This topic can be long because it touches on so many subjects, so I will keep it short.  Time is a valuable commodity, use it wisely with your child and teach them that their time is equally as valuable and everyone’s time should be respected.  Listen with your heart (you won’t believe what they can teach you!) and teach your child to listen to theirs.  On the flip side of listening is teaching your child what I feel is the most valuable lesson you can teach them: LISTENING TO THEIR INNER VOICE.  Teach your child to listen to their inner voice/inner compass or guidance system and then show them how to follow that guidance.  Last but certainly not least, teach your child a form of Spirituality or religion.  It will provide them with a long lasting relationship to explore, nurture and develop as they raise their family in the future.  Namaste and happy parenting.

 

 

 

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Igniting Your Inner Healer

“You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.”

–Brian Tracy

With the many technological advances we have at our fingertips, we find that we can acquire answers and solutions to many of life’s struggles, heartaches and roadblocks in a click of a mouse or tuning into the TV.  Life coaches, self-help books, alternative medicine, herbal remedies and personal empowerment techniques are available now more than ever. Whether we are actually lost on the road of life or keep hitting the same roadblocks over and over, our options to move forward are endless.  With all these options, how do we know which step to take next?  Many of us are willing to listen to the advice of a self-help author, a trusted friend or even a medical professional, but disregard the wisdom, the knowledge and the “gut feelings” that reside within.  What makes us think that other people have the answers to our questions?  Many of us were brought up with the belief system that the answers to life’s problems come to us from the outside, but what we are learning from the masters of the ages is that the solutions to life’s problems actually come from the inside.  Does this suggest that you should ignore the advice of your life coach, your best friend or your doctor?  No. What this means is that it is time to IGNITE your inner healer and allow it to reveal to you the next step, then the next step on your path to joy, healing and abundance.  What is this inner healer and how do we ignite it?  Of all the technological advances today, one of the most useful and awe inspiring is the GPS in your vehicle.  Plug in any destination and a soft voice will guide you step by step from where you are now, to where you want to go.  We have within us the same technology.  I call it your Human Guidance System, or HGS.  Plug in any question, problem or roadblock and it will give us step by step instructions to reach our destination.  Most people are not “tuned into” this technology.  We continue to ask questions with our heart, the Universe continues to answer by giving us signs along the way, but we tend to dismiss those signs and listen to others instead.  When we are travelling towards our destination and have our GPS set to provide instructions, but are listening to all the passengers in our vehicle, it is more difficult to listen to the GPS at the same time.  We can get confused, overwhelmed or find the need to pull over and put the car in park for a while.  In order to hear its instructions, we have to tune out the others and tune in to our HGS.

Imagine what life could be like if you were tapped into your inner GPS, in your Driver’s Seat and heading in the direction that you would like to go.  Life moves with ease and effortlessness.  You ask, you are given, you take inspired action.  If you are interested in Igniting Your Inner Healer, take the following steps below.  We will use an example of losing weight.

Get quiet.  Take out a pen and paper and ask yourself “Where do I want to go?  What do I want to do? How do I want to feel?”  For our example above: “I want to feel healthy, vibrant, thin and energetic.”

Tap into your HGS.  This can be done by simply sitting quietly, meditating, or taking a few long, slow deep breaths.  Visualize what you want.  Bring it to life.  What does it sound like? What does it smell like? What does it look like? What does it feel like?  Your HGS listens to and is tapped into the longings of your heart.  See and feel yourself thin, confident, full of energy and healthy.

While you are in the feeling place of what you want, ask yourself “What is the easiest, most enjoyable, most useful way for me to lose weight and feel fabulous?”  Allow your HGS to scan through all the opportunities that it is aware of at the time.  As each opportunity comes up, see how it feels inside.  If it feels really good, then that is your next step.  If it feels like some else’s advice, then put it aside for now and take the inspired action.

Try it out! The more that you tap into your Inner Healer, the easier it is to use this technology and the more happy and joyful your life will become.

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